Over the years, I have become very reflective and analytical about life. This is especially true for birthdays, holidays, job changes, etc., during all the pivotal moments in life. Reflecting often leads me to ask the big life questions– where I am, how I got here, and where I want to be in the future.
During these times, I find myself trying to hold on to what was—as it slowly grips out of reach. When receiving comments like “you’re controlling” or “stop trying to control things,” that’s when it hits me. I have tried holding on and controlling things for a long time. I would say it was probably during my teen years.
While I used to pride myself in being able to “take on the world” without help, I have grown to realize that this mentality is overwhelming and creates havoc and confusion along the way. It makes me and the people around me miserable!
So instead, I have grown to accept that letting go is much more appealing than holding on. I have also learned that letting go is not about the loss but, instead, about the gain.
The Benefits of Letting Go
If you have been like me and struggled during the transitions of life. And if you’re not quite sure that you are ready to take the next step toward releasing the past, things, and circumstances. Here are some reasons why you may want to try letting go:
- Your relationships will improve – Trying to control others creates tension and strains relationships. When we try to manage the behaviors of others or tell them what they should do and when they should do it, it makes people not want to be around us much. They won’t enjoy your company if they have to be around you. Not in the same way, if you had allowed the person to be who they choose to be.
- You will enjoy life more – Releasing the grip on life opens a new opportunity to enjoy parts of life that are overlooked when trying to control and micromanage life and others. The more we learn to allow life to happen as it will anyway, the more we can focus on the things that really matter in our life.
- Your self-esteem will improve – The need to control and hold on tight is typically rooted in fear-based thinking. When we identify our fears and begin to counteract those fears with new ways of thinking, we begin to see a positive shift in our self-esteem.
Five Things To Keep In Mind When Learning To Let Go
If you have decided that you are ready and willing to begin the journey of releasing the tight grip on your life and others. Here are some things to keep in mind to encourage you to take the next step toward letting go.
1. Letting Go Takes Courage
For those of us who have a tight grip on life and others, it can feel terrifying to think about letting go. Or it’s scary allowing life to happen or allowing others the freedom to be who they are without your guidance.
Yet, by keeping a tight grip on life and others, we lose the freedom to live a happy and fulfilling life. Choosing to let go is the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves because it empowers and strengthens us to move forward.
Next Read: Why You Should Let Go of Past Traumas
2. Humility Is a Sign of Strength
The top 10% of the world’s industry leaders have one characteristic in common – humility. Humility is the opposite of pride. It allows us to be open to learning from others. In return, we become better leaders, friends, partners, and parents.
3. Humility Allows Us To Be Open To Learning From Others
As we learn more about life, we become better leaders, friends, partners, and parents. We become more compassionate and conscientious humans when we choose to humble ourselves and receive from others.
4. Receiving Empowers Us and Others
Receiving the best someone has to offer and accepting it with no strings attached or expectations other than appreciation is one of the most empowering experiences we can give another person. It is not about taking from another person. Instead, it is being grateful and appreciative. We can appreciate and see another person’s gifts, talents, and heart through humility.
5. Letting Go Empowers Us To Reach Our Goals
Being so focused on controlling life or others can make it challenging to approach situations with clarity. Holding on this way sends the message that we need to be at the center of everything. Yet, to move forward with ease in life, we need to be willing to relinquish our need to be at the center of everything. Otherwise, the journey towards a goal will be long, hard, or may not be realized at all.
While I know that letting go is not easy, I encourage you to lean into the power of letting go and receiving. Being humble, letting go of pride, being willing (vulnerable) enough to receive from another, and connecting with others in new ways that uplift and empower, create the intimacy of being present with yourself and others in your life.