Over the past couple of years, I have realized that things are never that serious. Unless your life is in danger, there is no need to eat your brains out. You may be wondering what prompts this way of thinking, but there is solid evidence to back it up.
A couple of years back, I landed my dream job. I met top executives across multinationals, hit all my performance targets, and earned awards for my achievements. However, there was still one thing missing. In this entire splendor, I was still miserable.
All the praises, heavy bonuses, and a lovely wife at home were not enough to give me the desired gratification. Upon consulting an expert is when the revelation came. I was working to please others and not myself.
In most societies, you have people planning your life’s trajectory. For example, if your father and those before him are in the military, it is only logical that you follow the same path. Anything in the opposite direction bodes as the ultimate act of betrayal. Therefore, you find yourself embarking on a journey that you never planned for.
So, if you are struggling to find peace in what you do, here are a few things that I can attest to that will help.
Depending on your cultural upbringing, speaking your frustrations can be seen as a sign of weakness. African males can relate to this, given the immense pressure they face from their families. However, a few honest words can distinguish between your liberation or eternal frustration.
Maintain an inner circle.
How immense is your social media clout? A couple of hundred or a thousand, maybe. It does not mean that you start culling your following; far from it. You must be doing something right to amass such a following. However, it does help to have a clique of ride or dies with you—someone to tell you like it is and call you out when you go off track.
They are there to steer you on the right path and offer a shoulder to lean on when all seems lost. But, unfortunately, the reality of life is not every so-called friend has your best interests at heart. Some will use you to upgrade themselves and those that continually sabotage your efforts to get better. The takeaway here is you need to exercise caution when choosing who you let in.
Your situation is not permanent.
Fact, you will go through a rut at some point in your life. However, dwelling on it and complaining will do you no good. Forests need fire to grow. If you find yourself in such, take stock of your situation and devise ways to get better.
You lost your job, start a side hustle. Your spouse leaves you; move on. You exist for a reason. Nothing is impossible. You just have not figured it out yet. Look deep within and harness your unused potential.
It is not a popularity contest.
We are all unique in our measures. Stop comparing yourself to others. Doing so will only lead to more frustration. When someone asks, why are you not like? Look them dead in the eye and say, because I am me. Your experiences, talents, and skillsets define your worth in this world. Be proud of them and use them to the max. Only then will you find peace.
Be a good friend.
Finally, pride will never get you anywhere. Looking down on others breeds a culture of distrust and jealousy. When someone approaches you for help, do so genuinely and go about your business. Always keep in mind the higher the horse you ride, the harder they fall. Stay humble and appreciate one another.
I am not a therapist, and I do not have answers to all the world’s problems. However, the hope is that if you and I share our experiences, we can make the world a better place.
When you have inner peace, you’re on your way to finding and being in your zone of genius.