Gary Vaynerchuck – The Secret to a Fulfilled Life

Gary Vaynerchuck, the biggest digital marketer of this decade, spoke with Ramon Ray (small business expert and publisher of ZoneofGenius.com) about what the secret to a fulfilled life truly is. Here, he gives us what he thinks we should do to get the best deal out of life.

Watch the short video and read the full blog post.

The Spectrum of Insecurity and Confidence

Life is a simple game of insecurity and confidence. Each of us exists somewhere on the spectrum between these two extremes. “The more one is insecure and buys into fear, the more they beat themselves up. The more you value other people’s opinions, the more you judge yourself if you are not achieving at a level only focusing on the 1% of the 1%.”

“The more one is insecure and buys into fear, the more they beat themselves up. The more you value other people’s opinions, the more you judge yourself if you are not achieving at a level only focusing on the 1% of the 1%.”

Gary believes that we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Seriously! Instead: “Figure out what you like and then be great at accepting the financial ramifications of your joy. And live within those financial ramifications.”

He grew up in a poor to a middle-class life. 90% of the people in the college were on financial support. Majority of his life, in the first 20 years, he saw people from different places than those he had seen in the last 15 years, and they were the happiest he had ever seen.

We do not need excesses to be happy. Of course, we need sustenance, but happiness does not always look like a six-figure salary and cruises across the seven seas.

“Joy is a huge word for me. I got very fortunate that my joy is something that has financial ramifications to it. However, in a lot of weird ways, there are many days I wake up and wish that wasn’t the case because I think the content I am passionate about putting into the world would be even more [impactful] because people would confuse that money is happiness.”~ Gary Vaynerchuck.

Weakness into strength

Self-Awareness: Mind What You Consume

Gary believes that the very first step to a fulfilled life is self-awareness. “I would say be self-aware, fight for self-awareness whether it is therapy, meditation, reading, or putting positivity in your ears.” Stay grounded.

“In practical steps, cut out negativity.” Sometimes, the negativity comes from our loved ones, and cutting them off is not easy. “Every year, if you can limit your interaction with your loved ones who are negative. You can’t cut your mom out, and you can’t cut your brother out. Can you limit your mom and brother? You can.”

If your mom is extremely negative and you realize you’re pessimistic, this could actually be what is pulling you down. “You can choose not to speak to your mum four times a day. Because people who want to complain, listen to those who complain.”

“If you can limit mum to once every four days, instead of 4 times a day, and add Sally from the office who is a bundle of joy…” but he points out that it’s essential to surround yourself with people who are truly happy. Not people hiding behind a mask, “an actually happy person. You won’t believe what would happen.”

We attract what we feel, what we constantly talk about, and what we constantly think about. And our behavior is influenced by those around us. The same goes for the kind of media we consume.

“If you watch one hour less of the news. One hour less in your news stream consuming what’s wrong in the world and [replace it with] one hour more of what’s good in the world. One hour a day. That will change everyone’s life.” 

“If you watch one hour less of the news. One hour less in your news stream consuming what’s wrong in the world and [replace it with] one hour more of what’s good in the world. One hour a day. That will change everyone’s life.” Bringing positivity into our lives is about replacing the vexing with the enriching. It does not mean that we turn a blind eye to what is wrong in the world. No. But for most of us, we are already living it. Discrimination, disease, mental challenges, financial problems: we do not need to constantly watch it too.

We must become more aware of who we are and what influences us in our environment. If we do this, we will manage to effectively control our mindset amidst all the craziness already surrounding us. We will no longer get negatively influenced by unnecessary things. Things that are often out of control.

Self-awareness is knowing we can only control one thing: who we are and what influences us.

Guilt and Gratitude

He remembers the events on his journey to the top. “There was a level of guilt and gratitude even when I was first coming up when we met. I knew that the luck of the DNA draw, the lack of not having much, and the lack of the super mom, just the luck of it all put me in a position of great joy.” 

Gary acknowledges the fact that success is not always a given. Not everyone will have the best environment to shape their choices. Some will even try but not succeed. Others will succeed but not know whether what they chased is what they wanted in the first place.

“And I said if I have that,” he continues, “I can write checks to a charity, but the greatest thing I can do is produce content of practical productivity at scale. And that’s the journey I have been on for 15 years.”

Sharing Joy and Positivity

Gary believes in sharing joy. There is always enough to go around. Showing people that it is possible, that there are so many ways of living that can change the world beyond our wildest dreams. But he’s also quick to point out that many people who have found that enviable balance in life keeps it to themselves. “And what I recognize is that most people who are grateful for their happiness are not spreading it. They are living within it in a very small circle, which is beautiful. They don’t sense the responsibility they have to share.” In today’s world, it is understandable.

Finding peace and balance is extremely hard, and those who achieve it may still be unsure if it’s happening. Giving also requires an overflowing cup, not just a full one. “And, look, I don’t think anyone should tell anyone what to do,” he affirms, “..so when I say their ‘sense of responsibility to spread,’ I understand why somebody may not want to talk…” he acknowledges. You should truly only do what you have the bandwidth to do! After all, you have to take care of yourself first.

“But if you’re watching this and you are happy, consider the concept of putting out content that is positive because negativity is very loud in the media and on social media. And positivity isn’t quite as good at marketing, and that’s what I am trying to do.” As we said, we already have so much wrong in the world. Except this time, we can create the good instead of simply avoiding the bad.

How Can Individuals Live Life Fulfilled?

Think About What Makes You Happy

“To answer your question directly, I think people need to take a step back and really think about what makes them happy. Because I am shocked that the speech that made me go viral[…]14 years ago might have been the smartest thing I have said.”

Happiness is not overrated. Without happiness, you have no life

Happiness is not overrated. Without happiness, you have no life. The problem is that people confuse euphoric bursts of emotion and debauchery for happiness. They imagine happiness is only about receiving when it is also about giving. And true happiness goes a few steps further because its true form is perpetual joy—excitement for life that only you can find and define.

The beautiful thing is that when we first find something that sets our hearts on fire, there will be many ways to make it work. 

“The reality is that if you love soccer, wine, mountain biking, and garage selling, billions of people on the other side of the screen may be able to tell, and that will be the reason it goes well.”

Joy

Chase What You Love

This goes back to what Gary said about dealing with the financial ramifications of our joy. But the beautiful thing is that when we find something that sets our hearts on fire, there will be many ways to make it work. 

“Do not chase the thing that has money in it. Chase the thing that you love.

“Do not chase the thing that has money in it. Chase the thing that you love. Here’s why: Every day I get thousands of messages from people chasing what is trending. And they ask, ‘Why am I not getting up this Tuesday Gary, it’s rainy’ I say it’s because you are chasing money.”

“Money will never get your energy going.” Or at least, it is never a sustainable motivator. If you do something you love, whatever the weather, whatever your mood, you are going to do it because you have passion for it. That’s the actual real world. For years we were told not to do this. Of course, we do need steady finances, but we can, and should also prioritize things that bring us joy. We must find time for them to keep our spirits alive.

“[…]social media has made that 2008 talk about smurfs even more real. So I need people to wake up and follow what makes them joyous.”

Zone of Genius Resouces

7 Tips for Living a Fit, Healthy, and Blessed Life

Five Morning Habits to Live Your Best Life

7 Secrets for Staying Positive when Life Sucks